Chelsea Swan

Although House of Mirth is about the dangers of materialism and the moral void of monied society people Edith Wharton also highlights the trap of trying to appear as society expects weather that is in terms of morals or affluence. The book proves that you can be without morals and appear moral, without money and appear monied enough, and you can fake and play the game well enough to rise in the ranks, but similarly you can be true to yourself for brief moments and loose it all. Your nature, your real inner self is strong and will fight against cages and demands but that this will lead to your ruin. It is a warning as well as a condemnation of the system. So much in this world makes a cage for women, requiring her to adheres to rules and roles at every stage of her life. Realisation, cohesion, freedom, are hard things to win and require a kind of killing of the idea of self. The created self has to die, most importantly the desire to please, even though it is so well ingrained since birth, has to be done away with, and that is painful. It is a tearing and clawing and humiliating, and degrading process that feels wrong every step of the way, with only a glimpse of hope that although it will be hard it will be freeing. I cannot escape. I diet, to the point of starvation, hair falling out, weakened immune system, passing out, calorie counting, step counting, feelings of failure if I even near the recommended daily calories, always at a 1000 deficit to feel safe. I wear clothes, outfits that make a persona. I am pleasing, I smile, laugh at awkward jokes that are offensive, easier to just say yes, I am a stupid woman than stand up and fight. I try to please and to look pleasing. My worth and value locked up with those things. Not to get a man, those are easy to get, or to get fame or money, just for life to not be too hard. I am already fighting so much and having to try so hard. It’s easier to just give in on some areas. I must believe in the small increments of change, That I am at least building a better society in other ways while aware I am adding to the harm in other ways. To adhere to societies expectations and sacrifice desires even if that desire is just to go for a walk. I believe this book to be even more relevant now as we have somehow been convinced that the feminist won, and we are free even though we are far from. Lilly too, in the book, appears to have so many freedoms and options that others are denied, and yet. When Lily attempts to challenge the social limitations of her gender, she is punished. “She was so evidently the victim of the civilization which had produced her, that the links of her bracelet seemed like manacles chaining her to her fate.”