Chelsea Swan

I was feeling a bit lost and overwhelmed with directions and ideas, especially with relation to being on a masters, wanting to be reflective, and not waste my time, and wanting to push myself further with ideas and outcome. Usually when I get this way with my work I will make mind maps to refocus. I then will simplify them until I get down to what really matters. Right now though I want to give myself some time and go back again to look at what was expressed and see if I have anything to add rather than just pushing onward. Anyway I accidentally made a start on my study statement. I inadvertently created mind maps which could fit the categories given. I guess maybe I have always made study statements and not even known it.

My hope was that my work could be more open and honest as I am still afraid of judgement or embarrassment.

I want to stop taking safe paths, to push my methods of making and outcomes further, to be bigger, stop hiding, to purposely be noticeable.

I want to focus more on what it is I researching through my work, what it is I am saying, who I am saying it to an why. I don’t want to say everything but I want to say something. I want to be heard and to make others like me feel seen. I want it to be joyful.

I also want to be more reflective in order to make the work better. If I am researching through practice then I am seeking something, I am asking something. I have to ensure how I am creating is in line with finding what I am looking for.

I still don’t know what IT is but I don’t believe the inner and outer self is the thing anymore. I keep sticking on something Jhonathan picked up on when I was talking about the work being understood, and understanding being important, clarity being important.

I just need some space from thinking and making. I know if I come back it will be clearer.